Becoming a Surrogate Mother

One of the biggest decisions to make on becoming a surrogate mother is whether or not you wish to be a traditional or gestational surrogate. A traditional surrogate carries a child that is conceived of her own egg, therefore, the child is biologically hers. A gestational surrogate carries a baby that is not biologically hers. Another words, the egg either comes from the intended mother or an egg donor. The role of the surrogate here is to simply carry the baby. In either case, once the baby is born, adoptive papers will need to be signed since the baby is legally the surrogates until she relinquishes it. This point can be and has been argued in court because of the fact that the baby is not biologically bonded to a gestational surrogate and therefore the surrogate should have no right to keep or put that baby up for adoption.

The first thing you should do is find out what is expected of a surrogate mother and evaluate yourself to see if you can handle it. Read stories from women who have done it and how it affected their lives. This is not just business, this is your body and you will never be the same.

Here are some of the common questions:

Can you be a surrogate mother If your tubes tied?
The answer is YES. A woman who has her tubes tied can still become a gestational surrogate mother. If you want to be a traditional surrogate mother, on this case, you have to undergo In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) procedure.

What are the age requirements to be a surrogate mother?
Generally, a woman is at the peak of fertility at the ages of 20 to 24 years old. As she get older her fertility rate goes down. At the age of 37 the fertility rate is at 50%. Hence, most surrogacy agencies set the age requirement between 20 and 37 years old.

Can I still be a surrogate if I have had a miscarriage?
Although miscarriage is a bad thing, you will still be eligible to be a surrogate mother if you only had ONE miscarriage in the past. Most agencies refuse those who had multiple miscarriages.

I never give birth before; can I be a surrogate mother?
No, it would be hard to be one. Most agencies are unwilling to take risk with candidates that have not given birth before. Why? The reason is simple: experience. The surrogacy process tends to have much better success rate with an experienced mother.

Do I have to be financially stable?
Yes, you do. Having Health insurance with maternity coverage is not required, but highly recommended.

I am a smoker, can I be a surrogate mother?
Most agencies refuse candidates that are smokers because of the health hazard of smoking.

I am overweight, is that a problem?
You have to be physically healthy and not obese. Your Body Mass Index (BMI) must be 34 or less.

Can I still be a surrogate if I have Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)?
It depends on your STDs. As long as those diseases could not be transmitted to the baby (e.g. herpes,warts), you should be okay. Among those that cannot be qualified include Hepatitis and HIV.

I am trying to recover from my drug addiction; am I still eligible?
No, any current or prior drug or alcohol abuse is not accepted.

Once you have decided that you can handle it, find out what you need to have a healthy pregnancy. What vitamins and diet you should be on are two very important things to look into.

You should find out what the laws and rights are in your area concerning surrogate motherhood.

Surrogate Agencies

There are many agencies out there. You can research them on line or look in the phone book. Each will be different in how they handle a case. Find out from them how they work and what they can do for you. Ask for references of other women who used the agency. Contact those women and ask them about their experience there.

Once you have decided on an agency; you will be required to fill out an application. After that you will be checked by a doctor from the agency to make sure you meet all the requirements needed. All applicants will be screened medically, psychologically and financially. Most of the reputable surrogacy agencies have 10-20% acceptance rate.

Once you are signed up and deemed healthy by the agency, they will begin looking for couples that they think would be a good match for you. You will be contacted and meetings will be arranged with possible couples.

After having several meetings, you will need to choose a couple. This couple should share your views on pregnancy. If you like coffee and they don’t want you drinking it during pregnancy, then they may not be the right couple for you. This is a very important part of the process. Don’t forget it isn’t only you choosing the couple; the couple has to choose you too.

Once there is an agreement between you and the couple, a contract will be drawn up and signed by both parties.

Independent Surrogate Mothers

If you do this on your own and not through an agency, then you are responsible for the paper work and fees yourself. Looking for a couple is also more difficult, but not impossible. You can find couples on the internet looking for surrogate mothers.

You will need to meet the couple in person and agree on all expenses and details of the pregnancy. Once all details are agreed upon, draw up a contract and have both parties sign it in front of a lawyer.

Which ever way you go, agency or individual, make sure all the details between you and the couple are crystal clear!